Poppe & Associates, PLLC - Blog , Custody and Parental AccessPoppe & Associates, PLLC - Blog , Custody and Parental Accesshttps://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/Custody-Parental-AccessSun, 23 Aug 2026 22:03:26 -0700http://zoho.com/sites/<![CDATA[Can I Relocate With My Child? 5 Reasons a Judge May Say Yes]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/can-i-relocate-with-my-child-5-reasons-a-judge-may-say-yes
Post-divorce life often comes with new opportunities, responsibilities, and challenges. Those changes sometimes include the need to relocate — and if you share custody of your child, that raises a big question: can you relocate with them?

The guiding principle in any custody decision is the child’s best interest. It is commonly accepted, as it should be, that a childs' best interests is served by them having ample and generous access to the nurture and guidance of both parents. Courts will look at almost anything that affects a child’s well-being, so it’s important to frame your request around how the move benefits your child — not just you.

Here are five common reasons a court may approve a relocation:

1. Job opportunities

A new position or career opportunity that significantly improves your financial stability can also improve your child’s quality of life. Courts may consider whether the move allows you to provide a more secure home and a stronger foundation for your child’s future.

2. Educational opportunities for the child

Does your child have special needs, or are they academically gifted? Moving to access better schools, specialized programs, or extracurricular opportunities that align with your child’s talents can be a strong reason for relocation.

3. Medical care

For children with complex medical needs, relocating closer to specialized doctors or facilities can be essential. Courts recognize that access to proper healthcare is a legitimate factor in determining what’s in the child’s best interest.

4. Physical or emotional safety

Bullying, harassment, or unsafe conditions at school or in your community can be a serious concern. Relocation can provide a fresh start in a safer environment, helping to protect both your child’s physical and mental health.

5. Family support

Sometimes, proximity to supportive family members — grandparents, aunts, uncles, or cousins — can make a big difference in a child’s development. Courts often consider the positive impact of having a strong family network nearby.

Relocating with a child requires careful planning, clear communication, and often, court approval when the non-moving parent does not agree. Moving without consent should NOT be undertaken. Experienced guidance ensures that your request is structured around your child’s best interests and has the best chance of success.

At Poppe & Associates, we help parents navigate these complex decisions with clarity, strategy, and advocacy. 

Let me be your brave. 

If your custody arrangement needs to evolve, Poppe & Associates is here to help you think through what’s next. Schedule a consultation at 212-792-9501 or online through our contact form.
]]>Wed, 24 Jun 2026 19:56:49 -0400<![CDATA[Summer with Your Kids After Divorce: How to Make It REALLY Count]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/summer-with-your-kids-after-divorce-how-to-make-it-really-count
Summer used to feel easy. Spontaneous, yet predictable. A season of restful hecticness... sleepaway camps, grandma's house, morning sleep-ins.

After divorce, it can feel like a logistical puzzle. Children typically track time by "how many sleeps" until the special event or is tomorrow a school day? The stable factor is one house, both parents in that one house. And then divorce turns summer upside down.

But here's what I want you to know: you can still give your children a summer that matters. It just requires a little more intention, and a little less winging it.

Here's what I've seen work — practically and emotionally — for the families I support.  

  1. Start with your parenting plan, not your memory of it.
Before you book anything, before you make promises to your kids, read the actual document.Your custody agreement may have travel notification requirements, blackout dates, or first-right-of-refusal language you've forgotten about. Knowing exactly where you stand means you negotiate from clarity, not confusion.  

  1. Have the conversation with your co-parent early.
I know. It's not always the conversation you want to have. But the earlier you raise it, the more goodwill you have to work with.If you want extra days, say so and come prepared to offer something in return. A different holiday. Flexibility on a weekend. Co-parenting is a long game, and the goodwill you build in June might pay dividends in December.And please make sure you memorialize those communications in an email or a parenting communication app.  

  1. Share your itinerary even if you'd rather not.
Your co-parent has a right to know how to reach your child while they're with you. That's not surveillance. That's good faith.Whether you're doing a staycation or flying cross-country, sharing your plans reduces tension before it starts. Think of it less as an obligation and more as a gesture that protects your children from being caught in the middle.  

  1. Ask your kids what they actually want.
This one sounds obvious but it's easy to skip when you're focused on logistics.Your children may already have ideas: a specific beach, a friend they want to have over, a museum they keep asking about. Asking them doesn't just make planning easier. It reminds them that summer is still theirs.  

  1. Build a shared calendar and actually use it.
Once you know what you're doing, write it down somewhere both households can reference. Not just in a text thread. A real calendar.Overlap happens. Plans conflict. A shared calendar is one of the simplest, lowest-drama tools you have.  

  1. Align your work schedule with your custody time — in that order.
This is the mistake I see most: parents request vacation time from work before confirming dates with their co-parent. Then custody logistics shift, and the time off no longer lines up.

Confirm your parenting schedule first. Then request the time. It sounds simple, and it is, but it saves real frustration.   Summer doesn't have to be perfect to be meaningful. Your children don't need a flawless, conflict-free season. They need a present, grounded parent who demonstrates gratitude for every minute they are spending with their child.

Sometimes, summer also reveals what isn't working in a custody arrangement, a communication pattern, or a parenting plan that no longer fits your family's reality. If that's where you find yourself, that clarity is worth paying attention to.

Let me be your brave.

If your custody arrangement needs to evolve, Poppe & Associates is here to help you think through what's next. Schedule a consultation at 212-792-9501 or online through our contact form.
]]>Wed, 24 Jun 2026 19:54:04 -0400<![CDATA[When a Child is Taken Across International Borders: What Every Parent Needs to Know About the Hague Convention]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/when-a-child-is-taken-across-international-borders-what-every-parent-needs-to-know-about-the-hague-c
It’s a parent’s worst nightmare: your child is taken to or wrongfully retained in another country—without your consent.Whether it’s labeled abduction, wrongful removal, or international kidnapping, the emotional and legal fallout is tremendous. And in these moments, clarity and swift action are essential. The need for swift action cannot be overstated; as a matter of fact the language contained in the Hague Convention Treaty regarding children has a focus on the speed in which the other parent seeks the return of the child or children.We represent parents navigating the turbulent waters of international child custody disputes. We’ve handled Hague Convention cases before—and we’ve done so successfully. But time is never on your side in these matters. Every day counts.

What Is the Hague Convention, and Why Does It Matter?

The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction is a treaty signed by 98 countries. It was created in 1980 to ensure that children who are wrongfully taken or kept in another country are returned quickly to their country of habitual residence.The Convention isn’t about deciding custody. It’s about deciding where that custody case should be heard. Its purpose is to restore stability for the child and prevent a parent from international "forum shopping” by fleeing with the child to a more favorable jurisdiction.

The Threshold Question: Are Both Countries Signatories?

The Hague Convention only applies if both the country the child was taken from and the country they were taken to are signatories.Most countries in Europe and the Americas have ratified the treaty. Fewer countries in Asia, Africa, and the Middle East are parties. (A current list of signatories is readily available online.)If both countries participate, the Hague Convention may be triggered. If not, you’ll need a different legal approach—and a seasoned international custody team to guide it.

What Makes a Removal “Wrongful”?

A removal or retention is considered wrongful if:
  • It violates custody rights under the laws of the country where the child habitually lived before being taken.
  • Those custody rights were being actively exercised at the time—or would have been, had the child not been removed.
In plain terms: if one parent takes the child across borders without the other parent’s consent, and in violation of a custody agreement, that’s a breach. And under the Hague, it’s grounds for return.

Habitual Residence: The Critical Legal Question

The term “habitual residence” is not strictly defined in the treaty—it’s determined by the court. And proving where a child habitually resided can make or break a Hague case.Did the child go to school there? Were they socially and emotionally anchored? Did the family establish a life in that country?Every contact and/or connection the child has had matters. And every moment lost makes it harder to bring a child home.

The Emotional Cost—And Why Time Is Everything

International custody disputes are agonizing. They stretch across time zones and legal systems—but more importantly, they stretch a child’s sense of safety and stability.

The Hague Convention exists to interrupt that spiral. To bring children back to familiar ground. To reset jurisdiction, so custody decisions can be made in the place the child calls home.

If your child has been wrongfully taken across borders, or if you’ve been accused of international abduction, this is a serious matter. Your case demands the sharpest strategy, guided by deep compassion and clear legal precision.

We’re here to protect your parental rights—and your child’s right to come home.  
]]>Fri, 05 Sep 2025 16:52:59 -0400<![CDATA[What are the “best interests of the child” in New York?]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/what-are-the-best-interests-of-the-child-in-new-york
There are few bonds stronger than a parent’s love for their child. That’s why custody cases can be so contested.

Both parents will likely want what is best for the child, but may not agree on exactly what that is. When parents can’t agree, the family court in New York will determine what is in the best interests of the child and establish a custody arrangement. How does the court determine what is in the best interests of the child? 

Each party’s current relationship with the child 

One aspect that the court will consider is the type of relationship that the parent and child already have. For example, has one parent always taken care of getting the kids dressed and taking them to school? The other parent may have been focused on work. In many cases, a parent and child can be estranged. Someone may have only just found out that they are the child’s biological parent. In these instances, the court may order supervised visitation so that a bond can be formed gradually. 

Each party’s parenting skills 

The court will also carefully assess the strengths and weaknesses of each parent. Parents must be able to show that they are responsible. Should either parent or child have special health requirements, this will also be a factor. Raising a child takes a lot of time, skill and effort, particularly if they have specific healthcare needs. 

Other factors 

While no set law defines the best interests of the child, the court follows certain guidelines. Other factors that will be considered include:
  • Whether or not there are safety risks (such as a history of domestic abuse)
  • The parent’s career schedule and the child’s educational requirements 
  • The child’s relationships with siblings and the rest of the family
  • The child’s preferences (when the child is mature enough to make an informed decision)
  • How well each parent cooperates and how likely they are to stick to any custody arrangement

With the right legal guidance, custody cases don’t have to be heated. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is going through a custody case, reach out to schedule a consultation at 212-792-9501 or by contacting us online. 

Let Me Be Your Brave
Mia Poppe, Esq.
Managing Partner
]]>Mon, 14 Oct 2024 13:01:04 -0400<![CDATA[Understanding custody arrangements: Sole vs. joint]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/understanding-custody-arrangements-sole-vs-joint
When discussing child custody, you may encounter two primary types: sole custody and joint custody. Understanding the differences between these custody arrangements is crucial because the arrangement may significantly impact both parents and children. Below are the key distinctions between sole and joint custody to help you grasp the fundamentals of each.

What is sole custody?

In sole custody, one parent is primarily responsible for the child's care and decision-making. Sole custody could provide stability in certain situations. However, it may limit the non-custodial parent's involvement in the child's life. Courts may consider granting sole custody when one parent is unfit. They may also consider it if the other parent cannot adequately care for the child.

What is joint custody?

On the other hand, joint custody requires both parents to share responsibilities for their child's upbringing. This arrangement could take various forms, but generally:
  • Both parents have legal custody, sharing decision-making authority
  • Physical custody may be shared or primarily reside with one parent
  • Parents must communicate and cooperate to make crucial decisions
Joint custody aims to maintain strong relationships between the child and both parents. It is often beneficial for the child's emotional well-being. This is because it allows for consistent parental involvement in the child's life.

Which one is right for you?

When considering custody arrangements, it is best to prioritize your child's best interests. Factors to consider may include:
  • Each parent's ability to provide care and support
  • The child's relationship with each parent
  • The parents' ability to cooperate and communicate effectively
Understanding the differences between sole and joint custody may help you navigate the complex world of child custody arrangements. Carefully considering your family's specific needs and circumstances is vital. Doing so may allow you to work towards an arrangement that best serves your child's interests and promotes their well-being. Remember, every family situation is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. Consulting an attorney can help you understand your options and potential outcomes better. With expert legal guidance, divorce can be easier and more convenient. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online. Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Tue, 08 Oct 2024 09:43:11 -0400<![CDATA[How to reduce conflicts during custody exchanges: 5 tips]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/how-to-reduce-conflicts-during-custody-exchanges-5-tips
When you share minor children with your ex, custody exchanges can be a frequent source of tension and stress – for you, your co-parent and your children.You’ve always prioritized your child’s needs and want to keep their transitions from your care to your co-parent’s care as smooth and stress-free as possible, your ex may not exactly be willing to do the same. What can you do about the situation? Here are some tips:

1. Be reliable and on time

Being on time shows respect for your co-parent’s time and gives your child a sense of routine. Late arrivals and abrupt changes in the schedule without good cause can lead to unnecessary tensions and resentments. If you absolutely cannot make the scheduled exchange for some reason, communicate with your co-parent immediately and apologize for the inconvenience. 

2. Keep communication focused on business

The business of a custody exchange is centered around your child’s transition from one home to another, so do not address any grievances or unresolved issues. No matter what is going on beneath the surface, remain cordial. A simple, “Is there anything I should know?” is more than enough. If your co-parent tries to bring up any conflicts, simply say, “We need to table that for another time” and continue with the exchange as planned. 

3. Have the essentials ready

Preemptively addressing any potential challenge switch the exchange can reduce the opportunity for conflicts. Make a list of everything your child needs for their stay with their other parent – including shoes, clothes, school supplies, medication and comfort items. 

4. Be generous with your reassurances

Even if it’s difficult, stick a smile on your face and reassure your child that they’ll have a great time with their other parent and that you’ll be fine at home without them. Keeping an upbeat, positive attitude in front of your child makes them less likely to be distressed about the exchange – and that reduces the odds that your ex will accuse you of trying to poison your child's mind against them.

5. Use a neutral location 

Finally, hold the exchange in an open, neutral location – whether that’s outside your child’s school or daycare, a restaurant or a public park. A disgruntled ex may think twice about acting out when there are witnesses around. If necessary, consider bringing along a relative or a friend who can be trusted to remain a silent bystander to the exchange.If your attempts to negotiate peaceful custody exchanges with your co-parent are not working, it may be time to seek legal intervention and explore additional options. It may even be possible to ask the court to order custody exchanges to take place at safe, supervised locations.At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or bycontacting us online.Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Wed, 11 Sep 2024 13:49:27 -0400<![CDATA[Tips for dealing with negative communications from your co-parent]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/tips-for-dealing-with-negative-communications-from-your-co-parent
If you and your ex or soon-to-be ex have agreed to share custody of your child, you’re likely doing what’s best for your child – and for both of you. That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s going to be easy – especially in the beginning.In the early weeks and months (and sometimes longer) after deciding to end a marriage, there can be a lot of residual anger and hurt. That can creep into even the most mundane co-parenting communications.For that reason, co-parents often find it easier to communicate via text or email rather than via phone conversation or in person. Communicating via the written word, however, can be even more challenging.Sometimes, people find it easier to lash out in writing. Further, even innocent comments can be misinterpreted to mean something accusatory or negative. The best way to avoid both issues is to stick to the topic at hand that involves your child. What if you’re trying to do this, but it seems like your co-parent can’t communicate without being negative or even nasty and bringing up other issues that have nothing to do with whether they’ll be attending the science fair or can pick up your child ten minutes early this week? You can’t control what they write, but you can control how you deal with it. Here are a few tips.

Focus on the subject

Read past the negativity and focus on whatever the question, answer or issue is. If the communication is in the form of an email, it helps to highlight what you need to deal with. That makes it easier to ignore the rest.

Respond with as few words as possible

Once you’ve drilled down to the matter at hand, respond only to that. Maybe only a “yes” or “no” answer is necessary. Throwing in a “please” or “thank you” can’t hurt, if appropriate. Focus on who, what, when and where if you need to provide details.

Practice the kind of communication you want to see

Make sure you’re not contributing to the negativity. It can be easy to fall into that trap. Keep any communication you initiate brief and cordial. Having a thorough and clear parenting plan can help you minimize your co-parenting conflicts. That’s just one reason why it’s crucial to have sound legal guidance.  At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online.Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.
]]>Sun, 18 Aug 2024 09:14:50 -0400<![CDATA[How are legal and physical custody different?]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/how-are-legal-and-physical-custody-different
When a couple gets divorced and they have children, dividing custody of those children becomes perhaps the focal point of that divorce case. There are still many other things to do, such as splitting up marital assets, but the child custody arrangement is often what causes conflicts and where couples need the most assistance.But the court isn’t going to divide custody in just one way. There are actually two types of custody, known as physical and legal custody. It’s quite important for parents to understand how these are different and how they have actually been split up in the divorce order. 

Physical custody

With physical custody and parenting time, courts are dividing who the child spends time with and where they live. This could address things like what home the child lives in, when exchanges are made if both parents have custody, how visitation rights can be used, when parents are allowed to travel out of the state with their child and much more.

Legal custody

Legal custody, on the other hand, impacts all of the major life decisions that parents may need to make for their child, such as:
  • Where they go to school 
  • Which doctors they see 
  • What medications or vaccines they get 
  • What religion they’re raised in 
  • Where they open up a bank account
If parents are supposed to share legal custody, things can get very complicated if they don’t agree. Some issues may allow for compromises when the parents can't agree, but there's no way to compromise if the parents take radically different views on what sort of medical care or vaccines a child should receive or what religion they should follow. This is why it’s so important for parents to know exactly what legal rights they have and what steps they can take during a dispute. It is always easier to understand your legal options when you get legal guidance that is tailored to your situation.At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online.   Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Tue, 30 Jul 2024 01:37:53 -0400<![CDATA[3 reasons to put the brakes on new relationships before divorce]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/3-reasons-to-put-the-brakes-on-new-relationships-before-divorce
You deserve to be happy, and if you are not happy in your current marriage then ending it through a divorce may be best. There are plenty of chances for romance out there, as they say.But what happens if you find another love sooner, rather than later? What happens if you meet someone new while your divorce is ongoing? If you have children, then you need to take great care. You cannot afford to let a new relationship affect your relationship with your children.Even if your kids can see that things have been rough between their parents, they may harbor unrealistic fantasies that you can somehow patch things up and all live as a happy family together. So the announcement of a divorce can hit them hard. For them to then find out you are already seeing someone new could hit them even harder.

1. Children are a chip off the old block

You may think your children look nothing like your spouse and have completely different interests and personalities to them. However, your children may not see it like that. They may see a part of each of you in themselves. So, if you reject their other parent and quickly replace them with a new flame, they may fear you could just as quickly go off them too. 

2. Your kids need you to spend time with them

Your divorce is probably the most difficult event of your children’s lives to date. So much is changing. They need you to be there for them, to comfort them, answer their questions or just sit on the couch in silence and stare at the TV with them. You can’t do that as much if you are busy dating someone new. If that person really is the right one for you, they should be prepared to be patient.

3. A new partner could harm your custody chances

The new person you’ve met seems ideal. They’re witty, kind, financially solvent and good-looking. The only problem is they have a bit of a complicated past. They were once arrested for assault (wrongly they claimed), spent two months in rehabilitation for alcohol use and have had their house raided by the police on numerous occasions on suspicion of dealing cocaine. They may be a lovely person today and have turned over a new leaf, but a divorce court might have concerns about your children spending time with them which could affect how they determine custody.You can meet someone new when you least expect it, but if your divorce is still underway, it may be safer to put the brakes on it for the time being.Or at least seek experienced legal guidance to learn how to move forward while protecting your interests in the divorce.Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing PartnerAt The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online.   
]]>Wed, 15 May 2024 11:34:18 -0400<![CDATA[3 reasons to get a temporary custody order quickly]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/3-reasons-to-get-a-temporary-custody-order-quickly
When your marriage is ending, you may not want to stay one minute longer under the same roof as your spouse – especially if the split is particularly hostile or bitter.Unfortunately, you need to take a deep breath and dig in. You may not want to leave the family home until you have a temporary custody and visitation order in place regarding your children.

1. You don’t want to set the wrong precedent

Where children are involved, family courts tend to prioritize stability. By leaving the family home without a custody agreement in place, you are essentially allowing your spouse to dictate how often you see your children. If the children seem to adjust to the routine that is established during the interim, the court may decide “that’s what works” and make it the long-term plan.

2. You could be accused of abandoning the family

Abruptly leaving the family home means also abruptly leaving your children behind – and even if they’re in the care of their other parent, it looks like you are more concerned about your own feelings than how your children are affected by the situation. Staying in the family home allows you to demonstrate your commitment to your parental responsibilities while leaving automatically makes your spouse the children’s “primary caregiver.”

3. Your temporary residence could be deemed inadequate

You may think that staying on your brother’s couch is a perfectly acceptable solution for temporary housing until your divorce is settled and your finances are stable, but consider how that may sound to a family court judge. If you don’t have housing that is adequate for your children’s needs in terms of safety, space and stability, that could weigh heavily against you in a custody dispute.Divorce can be difficult to navigate, even when you think you’re prepared for what must come. Having experienced legal guidance by your side can make it much easier to decide when you should leave the family home and what steps you need to take first to best protect your interests and your relationship with your children. In many cases, that means negotiating a temporary custody plan that allocates parental time fairly before you move out.At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or bycontacting us online.Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Tue, 07 May 2024 15:14:02 -0400