Poppe & Associates, PLLC - Blog , DivorcePoppe & Associates, PLLC - Blog , Divorcehttps://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/DivorceSun, 23 Aug 2026 21:47:30 -0700http://zoho.com/sites/<![CDATA[Tips for How Not to Lose Your Sh*t During a Divorce]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/tips-for-how-not-to-lose-your-sht-during-a-divorce
Divorce DEMANDS every ounce of your best self.

It demands clear thoughts on decisions impacting your children. It demands financial decisions while your heart is breaking. It demands that you show up for your children, your job, your life — while quietly grieving the fairy tale you thought was your life. It demands strategy at the exact moment you feel the most unsteady.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that demanding — you slip to the bottom of your own list.

I want to talk about that. Because the woman who comes out the other side of this process is being shaped right now, in how you treat yourself today.

What stress does to your body is not separate from your case.
The chronic stress of divorce doesn't stay in your head. It moves into your immune system, your heart, your sleep, your ability to think clearly. It affects how you remember things, how you process information, how you make decisions.

I know this firsthand. After my own custody litigation, I came out the other side with an autoimmune disease. And I hear this again and again — people developing autoimmune conditions during or shortly after their divorce. It is not surprising. Because when you are in survival mode, self-care is always the first thing to go.

This isn't to scare you. It's meant to make the case that taking care of yourself during this process isn't a luxury — it's strategy. Your ability to show up clearly, to protect your interests, to make sound long-term decisions for yourself and your family depends on it.

Monitor your self-talk.
Divorce has a way of turning up the volume on your inner critic. You replay the moments — would have, could have, should have. Shame shows up. So does the quiet, destructive belief that you somehow failed.

Here's what I want you to hear: you didn't fail. A marriage ended. Those are not the same thing. And even if it did fail — some failures are the best thing that ever happened to us. A bad marriage that ends is a good failure. A job you hate that you get fired from is a good failure. Many of our failures are the very bridges to our next best life.

The grief is real. The anger is real. But the story that you are at fault, that you did something wrong — that story needs to be challenged every time it surfaces. Surround yourself with people who reflect back who you actually are, not who this process has temporarily made you feel like. Seek out the ones who are radically cheering for you. And if that community is thin right now, or not showing up the way you need, reach out to a life coach or a licensed therapist. As the Beatles remind us," we all get by with a little help from our friends." There is no greater show of strength than knowing when — and how — to ask for help.

Move your body. Even when — and especially when — you don't want to.
Now, this doesn't mean running a marathon. It means a walk in nature, forest bathing, rhythmic breathing, or simply sitting in a dimly lit room and focusing on your inhale and exhale. It may also mean going to the gym and building muscle — because strength, in every form, is something you are going to need.

Movement sends powerful messaging to your nervous system. And that message is this: you are still here, still present, and still taking care of your incredible self.

Find an accountability partner. That's wisdom.

Choose the people around you with intention.
This includes your legal team.

The attorney you work with during this time will either add to your stress or help absorb it. You deserve someone who truly sees you — not a talking bot, but a real human connection. Someone who can hold both the complexity of your case and the weight of what you're carrying.

At Poppe & Associates, that's the only way I know how to work. You are not a file. You are a person in the middle of one of the most challenging chapters of your life — and you not only deserve, but you absolutely should have, counsel that meets you there.

Contact my office when you are ready.

Let me be your brave.
]]>Tue, 14 Apr 2026 15:45:04 -0400<![CDATA[Leading with Fire: Inside the Mia Poppe Approach to High-Stakes Advocacy]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/leading-with-fire-inside-the-mia-poppe-approach-to-high-stakes-advocacy
In a city filled with sharp, credentialed attorneys, I’m often asked what makes me different. My answer? It’s the way I lead, the way my team shows up for our clients, and the way we practice what I call smart lawyering. That means knowing the law inside and out—but also knowing our audience, whether it’s a judge, opposing counsel, or a client in crisis. It means crafting strategy with precision. And it means never, ever winging it. We lead with intention. We advocate with fire. And our clients stay at the center of every decision we make. That’s the Mia difference.

Strategy Isn’t Just a Skill—It’s a Discipline

Smart lawyering isn’t reactive. It’s not performance. It’s preparation. Every move we make is grounded in clarity, not chaos. We tailor each strategy to the reality of the case, but also to the personalities in the room. Judges, adversaries, even the opposing client—we study them. We factor in tone, pacing, history, and psychology. That’s how we control the narrative and protect the outcome. We don’t just argue, we anticipate. We don’t just respond, we position. That’s how we win.

The Team That Trains for the Fire

I’m only as good as the team beside me. And mine? They’re not just legally astute,  they’re emotionally attuned. We train for intensity. We prepare for urgency. And we operate with the shared understanding that family law isn’t just about statutes—it’s about people in crisis, children in transition, and futures on the line. We never lose sight of the human cost behind the legal fight. That’s why empathy and execution are held in equal regard at our firm.

Clients First. Always.

Whether we’re negotiating a parenting schedule or protecting a family business, our decision-making is never abstract. We start with our client’s core goals and build outward. Every motion, every argument, every email—we ask: Does this move our client forward? If the answer is no, we don’t do it. This is not about doing what’s popular. It’s about doing what’s right, what’s strategic, and what’s necessary to protect our client’s long-term interests—with strength and with integrity.

The Mia Difference

What sets me apart isn’t a single case or credential—it’s consistency. I lead with poise under pressure. I operate with surgical precision. And I bring my full, unwavering commitment to every case I take on. I don’t chase chaos. I build order. I don’t raise my voice to be heard—I speak with impact. That’s how we create outcomes that don’t just hold up in court, but hold up over time. Because when you’re facing a battle that involves your children, your finances, or your name—you don’t need just any lawyer. 

You need a leader. Let me be your brave.  
]]>Wed, 23 Jul 2025 18:43:39 -0400<![CDATA[How is pet custody handled in a divorce?]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/how-is-pet-custody-handled-in-a-divorce
Nowadays, more people consider pets family members, not just property. This shift is especially true for couples without children, where pets often fill that familial role. As such, it doesn’t come as a big surprise that determining pet custody can be as contentious and emotionally draining as a child custody battle.

 

New York’s stance on pet custody

The move away from viewing pets as property sparked a change in how New York courts handle pet custody during divorce. Since 2021, a new pet custody law requires courts to consider your pet’s best interests. This approach aims to ensure the pet’s well-being after the divorce. Judges consider factors such as:
  • Who is the primary caregiver
  • Which spouse takes the pet to the vet
  • Who spends more time with the pet
  • Whose emotional bond is stronger

The criteria for determining pet custody are now more similar to those used for child custody, instead of basing it on financial contribution or factors used for property division.

 

What animals count as pets?

New York law defines “companion animals” as domesticated animals or animals kept for companionship rather than commercial purposes. This includes dogs, cats and rabbits, but not livestock or farm animals. However, there are exceptions. Take prized show horses, for example. The court may still consider them pets since you raised them for non-commercial or farming purposes.

 

Planning ahead with a prenup

Prenuptial agreements can help you get custody of a beloved pet. Remember, you may only include pets in a prenup if you already had them before marriage. If you and your spouse adopted a pet after marriage, consider getting a postnuptial agreement. A pet clause in the prenup may also help you receive financial support for pet care. This is especially true if you and your spouse own exotic pets or ones who need expensive care.

 

Legal guidance is key

You can navigate pet custody smoothly with proper legal guidance and support. Consulting an experienced New York family law attorney can help you understand your legal options and protect your beloved pet’s interests. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce and worrying about pet custody, reach out to schedule a consultation at 212-792-9501 or by contacting us online. 

Let Me Be Your Brave. 

Mia Poppe, Esq. 
Managing Partner
]]>Thu, 14 Nov 2024 14:59:27 -0500<![CDATA[Why would you and your ex continue jointly owning a home?]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/why-would-you-and-your-ex-continue-jointly-owning-a-home
Deciding what to do with the house is a major consideration for many couples who are getting divorced. There are three standard options. First, they may choose to sell the house and split the proceeds. Second, one of them may refinance and take over as the sole owner, possibly giving up other marital assets to do so.

The third option, however, is for both parties to continue asjoint homeowners even after the divorce. This is legal, as you’re not obligated to sell your house just because of your marital status. The mortgage lender won’t care if the two of you are divorced or married, as long as you’re making payments on time.

That said, owning a house with your ex can be risky and potentially problematic. So why might you decide to do this? 

2 potential reasons

First and foremost, you may be considering the local real estate market. Perhaps you believe the optimal time to sell the house is in a few years. By agreeing to remain joint homeowners, the two of you could make more from the sale later than if you sold during the divorce.Another reason is that you may have children who are still living in the house. For example, if your oldest child is a junior in high school, you might want them to graduate without the disruption of a move. In this case, the two of you may keep the house for the next two years and then sell it after your child goes to college.There are many factors to consider, so it’s essential to look into all of the legal options available to you. Tailored legal guidance can help you understand the specifics of your situation.

At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 212-792-9501 or by contacting us online.

Let Me Be Your Brave
Mia Poppe, Esq.
Managing Partner
]]>Mon, 11 Nov 2024 20:57:46 -0500<![CDATA[Complexities of dividing an art collection in divorce]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/complexities-of-dividing-an-art-collection-in-divorce
When a couple has a substantial art collection, it may be one of the most valuable assets they own. For example, if the collection is worth $1 million, the couple will likely view this asset the same way most people view a home, business, investment portfolio or similar asset.

But how do you go about dividing the art collection in a divorce? First, consider which pieces of art are marital property because they were purchased or acquired during the marriage. Some of the art may be separate property if one partner bought it before the wedding. As a general rule, only marital property is subject to division.

Have an evaluation or appraisal carried out

Once you’ve determined which pieces of art need to be divided, the next step is to have an official appraisal done by a qualified art appraiser. Remember that the value may have changed significantly. Just because a painting sold for $100,000 twenty years ago doesn’t mean it’s worth the same amount today. The value could have doubled, for instance. An appraiser will be able to determine the accurate value at the time of the divorce.

This is especially important if your spouse purchased the art and wants to use the original purchase price for valuation. They may well know that a particular painting is now worth $250,000, but they might prefer to split it with you based on the original price of $100,000, meaning they’d only need to give you $50,000 in value if they kept the painting. In reality, you may deserve far more.

This process can become very complex, which is why it’s essential to understand the legal steps involved. Legal guidance can help.

At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 212-792-9501 or by contacting us online.

Let Me Be Your Brave
Mia Poppe, Esq.
Managing Partner
]]>Fri, 08 Nov 2024 20:56:19 -0500<![CDATA[How to respond to an unexpected divorce filing]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/how-to-respond-to-an-unexpected-divorce-filing
Even people going through a hard time in their marriages may find it shocking when a process server delivers them a divorce petition. Realizing that a spouse has filed for divorce can feel like a betrayal. The emotions that follow that experience can result in people making mistakes, such as failing to file a formal response with the family courts. Some people have a hard time accepting the idea that divorce is on the horizon. They may put off responding because they hope that the divorce might not actually occur. While some people do dismiss divorce petitions, avoiding the reality of the situation out of the hope that divorce may not occur is not typically the best decision. People need to be proactive about protecting themselves after receiving legal services from a spouse. They often need support so that they can assert and protect themselves during the significant transition they are about to undergo. 

There is limited time to respond

Provided that in-person service occurred, the spouse responding to the divorce petition may have only 20 days to file a response with the courts. Failing to act gives the spouse who filed control over the terms. They can petition the courts to move forward with the process without the input of the responding spouse, which may result in highly unfavorable child custody and property division terms. Individuals served with divorce paperwork need to learn about the basics of the divorce process including how the courts divide property. Getting support when reviewing and responding to divorce paperwork is of the utmost importance. Lawyers can teach people about their rights and the process so that they don't end up losing their right to counter a spouse's proposal or accepting imbalanced, unfavorable terms.At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online.Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Sat, 26 Oct 2024 19:31:47 -0400<![CDATA[Is an uncontested divorce an option for you?]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/is-an-uncontested-divorce-an-option-for-you
Facing the end of a marriage is never easy. Sometimes, it’s like ripping off a band-aid – the quickest path offers the least pain and much-needed relief. There is little advantage in prolonging an already painful experience. If you and your spouse agree on major issues, an uncontested divorce might be the closest to that swift, decisive action.

What is an uncontested divorce?

Uncontested divorce means you and your spouse agree on all essential matters about the divorce. This includes issues like:
  • Property or asset division
  • Child custody
  • Spousal support or alimony
Uncontested divorce is usually faster, less stressful and more cost-effective. Instead of dragging out for months or years, an uncontested divorce usually moves through the court system in a couple of months.

Eligibility for uncontested divorce

To file for an uncontested divorce in New York, you first need to meet specific criteria:
  • Mutual agreement: Both parties must agree on all divorce terms. Moreover, you need to have all necessary agreements on paper and all forms filed with the court.
  • Residency: At least one spouse has lived in New York for at least two years before filing. If you have only been living in New York for a year, you may still meet residency requirements if you are married in the state.
  • Grounds: New York allows “no-fault” divorce. You can cite “irretrievable breakdown” as a legally acceptable reason.
  • Breakdown of marriage:Legal separation is optional, but you must show proof that your marriage has ended for at least six months.
  • Age: You and your spouse are older than 18 years old.
  • No minor children: You and your spouse have no children under 21 years old.

Protecting your rights and interests

If you qualify for an uncontested divorce, it can make your life much easier. Remember, though, it requires open communication and cooperation between spouses. Moreover, even in amicable separations, professional legal insight is beneficial. An experienced attorney can provide crucial guidance on complex issues like spousal support arrangements and fair asset division. They can ensure your rights remain protected when drafting your divorce agreement. At , our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at  or by contacting us online.Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Wed, 23 Oct 2024 05:58:04 -0400<![CDATA[Social media and divorce: 2 questions to ask yourself]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/social-media-and-divorce-2-questions-to-ask-yourself
Today, most people have at least one social media account. Social media is a useful tool for connecting with friends, following the news and much more. With that being said, social media has its drawbacks, particularly when you are going through a divorce. What is the safest way to use social media during divorce? Outlined below are a few things to keep in mind. 

Do you really need to post at all?

The safest way to use social media during divorce is not to post. If you are someone who uses social media mainly for browsing, then this may not be much of a problem. However, if you routinely post for personal or business reasons, then this will be more tricky. Think about how important posting is to your life. Is it really something you need to do during the divorce? The reason that posting can be a negative is that your posts can be taken out of context. Social media posts are increasingly being presented in court as evidence, and this includes in divorce cases. 

Have you adjusted your privacy settings?

All social media platforms allow you to adjust your privacy settings. This means that you can be selective about who sees your posts. You can limit your posts to friends only. However, it is always safest to assume that anyone can see what you post. And remember, your online friends may relay what you post back to your spouse.Social media can be a useful tool, but posts can be presented as evidence in court. You should refrain from posting anything about your case. If you have children who are on social media, you may also want to monitor their online activity as it could be used in custody proceedings. If you’re concerned about how social media could affect your divorce, it may be wise to seek legal guidance. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online. Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Fri, 11 Oct 2024 12:57:53 -0400<![CDATA[Living separately under one roof: 2 tips for success]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/living-separately-under-one-roof-2-tips-for-success
Your marriage has reached a breaking point, and you need to separate from your spouse. However, financial or logistical reasons make moving out immediately very difficult. If your living environment was already challenging, how can you manage this? It takes some careful planning and a lot of communication, but some couples do it. Here are some tips that can help you and your future ex coexist peacefully during this transition phase:

1. Establish clear boundaries

You’re going to need both physical and emotional boundaries to minimize the potential for conflicts. That means:
  • You need space: Designate specific areas in the home that are “off-limits” to the other, such as separate bedrooms and/or workspaces.
  • You need a schedule: You can’t divide the kitchen or living room, but you should try to schedule separate times for their use.
  • You need privacy: Make it clear that neither of you should enter the other’s private spaces without knocking and asking permission.
Finally, establish a method of communication. Conversations will still need to take place about chores, household maintenance, finances and possibly children. Determine whether you’ll have a weekly meeting on neutral ground or use electronic communications, like email or text.

2. Draw up a financial agreement

Shared finances can complicate your ability to live separately under one roof, so establish different bank accounts and an agreement about the household bills. To that end:
  • Split the expenses fairly: You can divide the mortgage, utilities and other shared expenses 50/50, but each person needs to be responsible for their own private bills, such as credit cards, car loans and entertainment.
  • Agree on pay dates and methods: Determine who will take the responsibility for paying those shared bills and how the other person will transfer the funds for their share. For example, if your spouse is going to pay the mortgage, agree that you’ll transfer your half of the bill to them on time each month.
Finally, take care of your mental health during this process. If the situation is too emotionally charged, you can end up feeling drained and more stressed than ever. It’s critical to seek support during this time from friends, family or a therapist. Legal guidance can also help you decide your next moves. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online. Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Sat, 28 Sep 2024 01:18:15 -0400<![CDATA[4 ways to protect your digital privacy before divorce]]>https://www.miapoppe.com/blogs/post/4-ways-to-protect-your-digital-privacy-before-divorce
For most people, divorce is a multi-step, multi-phase process. It requires a lot of research and small steps before you’re able to finally make that big announcement. All your efforts at stealth, however, may be for nothing if you don’t take steps to protect your digital privacy and cover your digital footprint before you tell your spouse that you want out. Here are some steps you probably want to take.

1. Learn how to use “incognito mode”

All web browsers – including the ones on your phone – have an option that allows you to browse the web without leaving a readily observable trail. This is usually called something like “incognito” mode or “dark” mode. While it won’t erase your digital footprint entirely, it can stop your spouse from seeing that you’re researching legal issues related to divorce, child custody, property division and more.

2. Turn off your tracking mode and “check-ins”

Are you headed to an attorney’s office for a consultation? Are you going to a different bank to set up a separate account? Your phone could end up broadcasting your intentions if you have any kind of tracking app that lets your spouse see where you are or if you have given your phone permission to “check in” on social media. Turn those settings off.

3. Turn off notifications on your phone

If you’re turning to your friends and family members for support during this time, make sure that your phone’s notifications are turned off so that their texts or notes to you in Messenger aren’t visible from your home screen. It would be far too easy for your spouse to see what’s being said to you and realize what’s going on.

4. Get a separate email account

Finally, make sure that you have a secure email that you can use for important divorce-related or financial correspondence. Ideally, you should set this up on a device that your spouse cannot access. Make sure that you pick an email that you won’t confuse with the one your spouse knows, and use a password they’re not likely to guess. It can be difficult to think about all of the things that you need to do to protect yourself and your privacy during these early days. Legal guidance can often make the process easier. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online. Let Me Be Your BraveMia Poppe, Esq.Mia Poppe, Esq.Managing Partner
]]>Fri, 27 Sep 2024 00:48:51 -0400