Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC 2026-06-03T17:04:47Z https://www.miapoppe.com/feed/atom/ WordPress /wp-content/uploads/sites/1303398/2023/06/cropped-site-icon_favicon-32x32.png On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[Tips for How Not to Lose Your Sh*t During a Divorce]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47960 2026-04-14T16:45:04Z 2026-04-14T16:45:04Z Divorce DEMANDS every ounce of your best self. It demands clear thoughts on decisions impacting your children. It demands financial decisions while your heart is breaking. It demands that you show up for your children, your job, your life — while quietly grieving the fairy tale you thought was your life. It demands strategy at the exact moment you feel the most unsteady. And somewhere in the middle of all of that demanding — you slip to the bottom of your own list. I want to talk about that. Because the woman who comes out the other side of this process is being shaped right now, in how you treat yourself today. What stress does to your body is not separate from your case. The chronic stress of divorce doesn't stay in your head. It moves into your immune system, your heart, your sleep, your ability to think clearly. It affects how you remember things, how you process information, how you make decisions. I know this firsthand. After my own custody litigation, I came out the other side with an autoimmune disease. And I hear this again and again — people developing autoimmune conditions during or shortly after their divorce. It is not surprising. Because when you are in survival mode, self-care is always the first thing to go. This isn't to scare you. It's meant to make the case that taking care of yourself during this process isn't a luxury — it's strategy. Your ability to show up clearly, to protect your interests, to make sound long-term decisions for yourself and your family depends on it. Monitor your self-talk. Divorce has a way of turning up the volume on your inner critic. You replay the moments — would have, could have, should have. Shame shows up. So does the quiet, destructive belief that you somehow failed. Here's what I want you to hear: you didn't fail. A marriage ended. Those are not the same thing. And even if it did fail — some failures are the best thing that ever happened to us. A bad marriage that ends is a good failure. A job you hate that you get fired from is a good failure. Many of our failures are the very bridges to our next best life. The grief is real. The anger is real. But the story that you are at fault, that you did something wrong — that story needs to be challenged every time it surfaces. Surround yourself with people who reflect back who you actually are, not who this process has temporarily made you feel like. Seek out the ones who are radically cheering for you. And if that community is thin right now, or not showing up the way you need, reach out to a life coach or a licensed therapist. As the Beatles remind us," we all get by with a little help from our friends." There is no greater show of strength than knowing when — and how — to ask for help. Move your body. Even when — and especially when — you don't want to. Now, this doesn't mean running a marathon. It means a walk in nature, forest bathing, rhythmic breathing, or simply sitting in a dimly lit room and focusing on your inhale and exhale. It may also mean going to the gym and building muscle — because strength, in every form, is something you are going to need. Movement sends powerful messaging to your nervous system. And that message is this: you are still here, still present, and still taking care of your incredible self. Find an accountability partner. That's wisdom. Choose the people around you with intention. This includes your legal team. The attorney you work with during this time will either add to your stress or help absorb it. You deserve someone who truly sees you — not a talking bot, but a real human connection. Someone who can hold both the complexity of your case and the weight of what you're carrying. At Poppe & Associates, that's the only way I know how to work. You are not a file. You are a person in the middle of one of the most challenging chapters of your life — and you not only deserve, but you absolutely should have, counsel that meets you there. Contact my office when you are ready. Let me be your brave.]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[When Love Feels Like a Trap: Recognizing the Signs of Narcissistic Abuse in Marriage]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47959 2026-04-14T16:43:33Z 2026-04-14T16:43:33Z There's a unique kind of exhaustion that comes from being married to a narcissist. It's not the tired you feel after a long day. It's the tired that lives in your bones — the kind that comes from years of second-guessing yourself, shrinking yourself, and wondering why no matter what you do, it's never quite enough. If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. And you're not imagining it. Narcissism in a marriage rarely announces itself. It doesn't show up on your wedding day. It builds slowly — through patterns, through moments, through a quiet erosion of your confidence that can take years to name. And when you finally begin to see it clearly, the question shifts from what is happening to me to what do I do now? That's where understanding your legal options becomes part of your path forward — not as a declaration of war, but as an act of self-preservation. Here are five "red flags" I encourage you to take notice of:
  1. You talk, but you're never really heard.
A healthy marriage makes space for both people. You share your day, your worries, your hopes — and your partner actually receives it. If you find yourself always accommodating what your spouse wants while your own needs go unacknowledged, that's not a communication style difference. That's a power imbalance. Narcissists aren't disengaged by accident — they're disengaged because your inner world no longer feeds their destructive appetite.
  1. You've started to question your own reality.
This one is quieter and more insidious than it sounds. Picture the frog in the pot of water where the heat is slowly increasing. The frog is free to jump, but he never jumps because the increased heat is so gradual — he normalizes the temperature even as it's cooking him.¹ Gaslighting works exactly like that. Someone systematically, over time and in close proximity to you, makes you doubt your own perception — what you saw, what you heard, what you know to be true. And over time, it works. You stop trusting yourself. You apologize for things that aren't your fault. You wonder if you're "too sensitive." You're not too sensitive. Your instincts are probably right. And that matters enormously — in everyday life, and in court. ¹ This is called sensory adaptation — when repeated exposure to a stimulus causes our nervous system to stop registering it as a threat. What once felt alarming becomes the new normal. That's not weakness. That's biology being weaponized against you.
  1. You feel like you're constantly failing at something, despite how hard you're working and despite how hard you're trying.
Narcissists, without fail, always move the goalposts. The moment you meet one expectation, there's another waiting. The criticism is rarely loud — it's often subtle, steady, and deeply personal. When you internalize someone else's impossible standards long enough, you stop recognizing them as theirs. That internalized shame can follow you long after the marriage ends. Recognizing it now is part of reclaiming yourself.
  1. They cheated — and somehow made it your fault.
Infidelity in a narcissistic marriage often comes with a reframe: you weren't attentive enough, you weren't available enough, you caused them to cheat. That reframe is a lie. Their behavior was their choice, and you should not cosign on you being the causation for their behavior. The instinct to deflect blame rather than take accountability is a hallmark of narcissistic behavior. You deserve to be clear on that — for your own healing and for any legal process ahead.
  1. Money has become a source of control.
Financial abuse is one of the most overlooked forms of control in marriage. It can look like a spouse who spends freely on themselves while you feel guilty buying groceries. It can look like being kept in the dark about finances, denied access to accounts, or made to feel like you need to justify every dollar. Even if you are the financial earner in the household — you may find yourself afraid to spend your own money, your partner having quietly repositioned himself as the owner of what is yours. Financial control isn't just emotionally destructive — it has real legal implications. Understanding what's happened to your finances during the marriage is critical when it comes to equitable distribution, support, and your independence going forward. What comes next is yours to decide. Recognizing these signs doesn't mean divorce is your only option. It means you deserve the freedom to walk in your own power — with 360° clarity about your life, your choices, and what you're actually dealing with. You deserve to have someone in your corner who can see through the fictitious narrative being put forth, and to make decisions from a place of knowledge — not fear, not shame, and not confusion. This is your story. You get to decide how it unfolds. If any of this resonates, I welcome the opportunity to talk with you. I'm here to make sure the law is on your side when you do.  Your power is in knowing.]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[When a Child is Taken Across International Borders: What Every Parent Needs to Know About the Hague Convention]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47879 2025-09-05T17:52:59Z 2025-09-05T17:52:59Z It’s a parent’s worst nightmare: your child is taken to or wrongfully retained in another country—without your consent. Whether it’s labeled abduction, wrongful removal, or international kidnapping, the emotional and legal fallout is tremendous. And in these moments, clarity and swift action are essential. The need for swift action cannot be overstated; as a matter of fact the language contained in the Hague Convention Treaty regarding children has a focus on the speed in which the other parent seeks the return of the child or children. We represent parents navigating the turbulent waters of international child custody disputes. We’ve handled Hague Convention cases before—and we’ve done so successfully. But time is never on your side in these matters. Every day counts.

What Is the Hague Convention, and Why Does It Matter?

The Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction is a treaty signed by 98 countries. It was created in 1980 to ensure that children who are wrongfully taken or kept in another country are returned quickly to their country of habitual residence. The Convention isn’t about deciding custody. It’s about deciding where that custody case should be heard. Its purpose is to restore stability for the child and prevent a parent from international "forum shopping” by fleeing with the child to a more favorable jurisdiction.

The Threshold Question: Are Both Countries Signatories?

The Hague Convention only applies if both the country the child was taken from and the country they were taken to are signatories. Most countries in Europe and the Americas have ratified the treaty. Fewer countries in Asia, Africa, and the Middle East are parties. (A current list of signatories is readily available online.) If both countries participate, the Hague Convention may be triggered. If not, you’ll need a different legal approach—and a seasoned international custody team to guide it.

What Makes a Removal “Wrongful”?

A removal or retention is considered wrongful if:
  • It violates custody rights under the laws of the country where the child habitually lived before being taken.
  • Those custody rights were being actively exercised at the time—or would have been, had the child not been removed.
In plain terms: if one parent takes the child across borders without the other parent’s consent, and in violation of a custody agreement, that’s a breach. And under the Hague, it’s grounds for return.

Habitual Residence: The Critical Legal Question

The term “habitual residence” is not strictly defined in the treaty—it’s determined by the court. And proving where a child habitually resided can make or break a Hague case. Did the child go to school there? Were they socially and emotionally anchored? Did the family establish a life in that country? Every contact and/or connection the child has had matters. And every moment lost makes it harder to bring a child home.

The Emotional Cost—And Why Time Is Everything

International custody disputes are agonizing. They stretch across time zones and legal systems—but more importantly, they stretch a child’s sense of safety and stability. The Hague Convention exists to interrupt that spiral. To bring children back to familiar ground. To reset jurisdiction, so custody decisions can be made in the place the child calls home. If your child has been wrongfully taken across borders, or if you’ve been accused of international abduction, this is a serious matter. Your case demands the sharpest strategy, guided by deep compassion and clear legal precision. We’re here to protect your parental rights—and your child’s right to come home.  ]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[10 Tips for Choosing the Right Advocate in a Critical Season of Your Life]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47878 2025-09-05T17:51:06Z 2025-09-05T17:51:06Z When I left my role as a Senior Business Leader in Finance and Banking to build a law firm in New York City, I was making more than a career move—I was answering a calling. We all know the adage is true "If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere."  But what is equally true is that New York City is a jungle... a concrete jungle, indeed. New York City demands resilience, vision, judgment, and grit. That same judgment is what I encourage you to exercise when you’re standing at a crossroads in your most intimate relationships and family dynamics. Whether you're reevaluating your partnership, seeking clarity, or preparing to take next steps, which may include leaving the relationship which once served a loving haven for you, you need more than just a lawyer. You need a strategic partner in strategy building, and in helping you to see and accept what now is your truth. Here are ten tips that I invite you to consider when you are navigating a major relationship or family change:
  1. Get crystal clear on your desired outcomes. Write down the 2–4 things that matter most to you—not just material things, but values. Is it peace? Stability for your children? A fresh start? When you're grounded in your goals, you're less likely to be shaken by the noise around you.
  2. Educate yourself on the process that you are embarking. Before any legal consultation, spend a few minutes researching your concerns. Look up questions like “how does custody work in New York?” or “do both partners have a right to stay in the home?” You won’t become an expert, but you’ll ask sharper questions and spot red flags faster.
  3. Interview more than one attorney. This isn’t about shopping—this is about alignment. Ask yourself: (a) Do they hear me? (b) Do I feel safe being honest with them? (c) Are their fees transparent and fair? (d) Do they have a team that supports the strategy, not just the paperwork?
  4. Be honest about what you can not afford. This is an investment in your future, and the greater danger lies in cutting corners. You cannot afford to compromise on the quality of representation or the strength of your support system. Ask about payment structures or retainers if needed—true empowerment comes from clarity. Above all, you cannot afford to go through this without the right person in your corner.
  5. Check for testimonials, reviews and referrals. Seek out authentic testimonials—the kind that sound lived, not scripted. Don’t hesitate to ask whether they can connect you (with permission) to a past client. A strong advocate will be proud of their track record, and their clients will be equally proud to share their experience. This is huge: don’t be afraid to ask to speak directly with clients they’ve represented. If a lawyer is truly delivering, they won’t mind at all.
  6. Choose someone who lives and breathes, and is passionate about the practice of  family and matrimonial law. In a city as complex as New York, generalists can cost you more in the long run. You want someone who understands the courtroom culture, the judges, and the nuances of high-stakes family matters.
  7. Keep your outcomes front and center. Let them be your north star. In every conversation, every negotiation, ask: “Does this decision move me closer to the life I want to build?”
  8. Don’t rush the decision. Choosing legal counsel during a season of emotional upheaval can feel urgent. But urgency and wisdom are not the same. Take a beat. Sleep on it. Trust that the right decision will remain the right one tomorrow.
  9. Bring support—with intention. A trusted friend or advisor can offer perspective during consultations, but be aware: bringing someone into a legal discussion may affect confidentiality. Choose wisely.
  10. Trust your intuition. Above all else, trust your knowing. If you feel empowered, seen, and respected—lean in. If something feels off, even if you can’t quite name it—pause. Your inner voice is your greatest guide.
]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[Leading with Fire: Inside the Mia Poppe Approach to High-Stakes Advocacy]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47870 2025-07-23T19:43:39Z 2025-07-23T19:43:39Z smart lawyering. That means knowing the law inside and out—but also knowing our audience, whether it’s a judge, opposing counsel, or a client in crisis. It means crafting strategy with precision. And it means never, ever winging it. We lead with intention. We advocate with fire. And our clients stay at the center of every decision we make. That’s the Mia difference.

Strategy Isn’t Just a Skill—It’s a Discipline

Smart lawyering isn’t reactive. It’s not performance. It’s preparation. Every move we make is grounded in clarity, not chaos. We tailor each strategy to the reality of the case, but also to the personalities in the room. Judges, adversaries, even the opposing client—we study them. We factor in tone, pacing, history, and psychology. That’s how we control the narrative and protect the outcome. We don’t just argue, we anticipate. We don’t just respond, we position. That’s how we win.

The Team That Trains for the Fire

I’m only as good as the team beside me. And mine? They’re not just legally astute,  they’re emotionally attuned. We train for intensity. We prepare for urgency. And we operate with the shared understanding that family law isn’t just about statutes—it’s about people in crisis, children in transition, and futures on the line. We never lose sight of the human cost behind the legal fight. That’s why empathy and execution are held in equal regard at our firm.

Clients First. Always.

Whether we’re negotiating a parenting schedule or protecting a family business, our decision-making is never abstract. We start with our client’s core goals and build outward. Every motion, every argument, every email—we ask: Does this move our client forward? If the answer is no, we don’t do it. This is not about doing what’s popular. It’s about doing what’s right, what’s strategic, and what’s necessary to protect our client’s long-term interests—with strength and with integrity.

The Mia Difference

What sets me apart isn’t a single case or credential—it’s consistency. I lead with poise under pressure. I operate with surgical precision. And I bring my full, unwavering commitment to every case I take on. I don’t chase chaos. I build order. I don’t raise my voice to be heard—I speak with impact. That’s how we create outcomes that don’t just hold up in court, but hold up over time. Because when you’re facing a battle that involves your children, your finances, or your name—you don’t need just any lawyer. You need a leader. Let me be your brave.  ]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[How is pet custody handled in a divorce?]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47721 2024-11-14T16:59:27Z 2024-11-14T16:59:27Z emotionally draining as a child custody battle.

New York’s stance on pet custody

The move away from viewing pets as property sparked a change in how New York courts handle pet custody during divorce. Since 2021, a new pet custody law requires courts to consider your pet’s best interests. This approach aims to ensure the pet’s well-being after the divorce. Judges consider factors such as:
  • Who is the primary caregiver
  • Which spouse takes the pet to the vet
  • Who spends more time with the pet
  • Whose emotional bond is stronger
The criteria for determining pet custody are now more similar to those used for child custody, instead of basing it on financial contribution or factors used for property division.

What animals count as pets?

New York law defines “companion animals” as domesticated animals or animals kept for companionship rather than commercial purposes. This includes dogs, cats and rabbits, but not livestock or farm animals. However, there are exceptions. Take prized show horses, for example. The court may still consider them pets since you raised them for non-commercial or farming purposes.

Planning ahead with a prenup

Prenuptial agreements can help you get custody of a beloved pet. Remember, you may only include pets in a prenup if you already had them before marriage. If you and your spouse adopted a pet after marriage, consider getting a postnuptial agreement. A pet clause in the prenup may also help you receive financial support for pet care. This is especially true if you and your spouse own exotic pets or ones who need expensive care.

Legal guidance is key

You can navigate pet custody smoothly with proper legal guidance and support. Consulting an experienced New York family law attorney can help you understand your legal options and protect your beloved pet’s interests. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce and worrying about pet custody, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online. Let Me Be Your Brave Mia Poppe, Esq. Mia Poppe, Esq. Managing Partner]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[Why would you and your ex continue jointly owning a home?]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47776 2024-11-08T23:01:01Z 2024-11-11T22:57:46Z Deciding what to do with the house is a major consideration for many couples who are getting divorced. There are three standard options. First, they may choose to sell the house and split the proceeds. Second, one of them may refinance and take over as the sole owner, possibly giving up other marital assets to do so. The third option, however, is for both parties to continue as joint homeowners even after the divorce. This is legal, as you’re not obligated to sell your house just because of your marital status. The mortgage lender won’t care if the two of you are divorced or married, as long as you’re making payments on time. That said, owning a house with your ex can be risky and potentially problematic. So why might you decide to do this? 

2 potential reasons

First and foremost, you may be considering the local real estate market. Perhaps you believe the optimal time to sell the house is in a few years. By agreeing to remain joint homeowners, the two of you could make more from the sale later than if you sold during the divorce. Another reason is that you may have children who are still living in the house. For example, if your oldest child is a junior in high school, you might want them to graduate without the disruption of a move. In this case, the two of you may keep the house for the next two years and then sell it after your child goes to college. There are many factors to consider, so it’s essential to look into all of the legal options available to you. Tailored legal guidance can help you understand the specifics of your situation. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online. Let Me Be Your Brave Mia Poppe, Esq. Mia Poppe, Esq. Managing Partner]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[Complexities of dividing an art collection in divorce]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47775 2024-11-08T22:56:19Z 2024-11-08T22:56:19Z When a couple has a substantial art collection, it may be one of the most valuable assets they own. For example, if the collection is worth $1 million, the couple will likely view this asset the same way most people view a home, business, investment portfolio or similar asset. But how do you go about dividing the art collection in a divorce? First, consider which pieces of art are marital property because they were purchased or acquired during the marriage. Some of the art may be separate property if one partner bought it before the wedding. As a general rule, only marital property is subject to division.

Have an evaluation or appraisal carried out

Once you’ve determined which pieces of art need to be divided, the next step is to have an official appraisal done by a qualified art appraiser. Remember that the value may have changed significantly. Just because a painting sold for $100,000 twenty years ago doesn’t mean it’s worth the same amount today. The value could have doubled, for instance. An appraiser will be able to determine the accurate value at the time of the divorce. This is especially important if your spouse purchased the art and wants to use the original purchase price for valuation. They may well know that a particular painting is now worth $250,000, but they might prefer to split it with you based on the original price of $100,000, meaning they’d only need to give you $50,000 in value if they kept the painting. In reality, you may deserve far more. This process can become very complex, which is why it’s essential to understand the legal steps involved. Legal guidance can help. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online. Let Me Be Your Brave Mia Poppe, Esq. Mia Poppe, Esq. Managing Partner]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[How to respond to an unexpected divorce filing]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47705 2024-11-06T05:07:54Z 2024-10-26T20:31:47Z Even people going through a hard time in their marriages may find it shocking when a process server delivers them a divorce petition. Realizing that a spouse has filed for divorce can feel like a betrayal. The emotions that follow that experience can result in people making mistakes, such as failing to file a formal response with the family courts.  Some people have a hard time accepting the idea that divorce is on the horizon. They may put off responding because they hope that the divorce might not actually occur. While some people do dismiss divorce petitions, avoiding the reality of the situation out of the hope that divorce may not occur is not typically the best decision.  People need to be proactive about protecting themselves after receiving legal services from a spouse. They often need support so that they can assert and protect themselves during the significant transition they are about to undergo. 

There is limited time to respond

Provided that in-person service occurred, the spouse responding to the divorce petition may have only 20 days to file a response with the courts. Failing to act gives the spouse who filed control over the terms. They can petition the courts to move forward with the process without the input of the responding spouse, which may result in highly unfavorable child custody and property division terms.  Individuals served with divorce paperwork need to learn about the basics of the divorce process including how the courts divide property. Getting support when reviewing and responding to divorce paperwork is of the utmost importance. Lawyers can teach people about their rights and the process so that they don't end up losing their right to counter a spouse's proposal or accepting imbalanced, unfavorable terms. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online. Let Me Be Your Brave Mia Poppe, Esq. Mia Poppe, Esq. Managing Partner]]> On Behalf of The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC <![CDATA[Addressing deferred compensation in a divorce]]> https://www.miapoppe.com/?p=47703 2024-11-06T05:48:59Z 2024-10-24T20:29:19Z Compensation packages for executives and others in high-impact professions often include a variety of different types of pay. Deferred compensation has become a common way to incentivize both loyalty to an organization and a drive to meet specific performance metrics.  By offering to provide certain compensation after a set amount of time or based on an employee's overall performance, a company can motivate workers to continue their employment and put in the best work possible.  Deferred compensation can often be worth tens of thousands of dollars. However, it may not be available for distribution for years. How do those preparing to divorce someone with deferred compensation arrangements with their employers handle income not yet paid to the worker? 

Some deferred compensation may be divisible

Typically, married couples have to divide what they earn and acquire during the marriage. That could very well include a portion of the deferred compensation that a professional may receive in the future. It may be necessary to review employment contracts thoroughly to establish whether deferred compensation might be subject to division in a divorce.  Spouses may need assistance evaluating how much of the deferred compensation is marital property and what it is worth. Particularly in cases where the compensation may involve stock options or performance-based payments, calculating the value of the deferred compensation can be even more difficult than determining what portion of it may be part of the marital estate.  Those preparing for high-asset divorces may need help valuing and properly addressing different parts of the marital estate. Getting help early in the process can help people avoid oversights or concessions that put them at a financial disadvantage during and after the divorce. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-600-8007 or by contacting us online.  Let Me Be Your Brave Mia Poppe, Esq. Mia Poppe, Esq. Managing Partner]]>