You’re married to a narcissist and ready to break free. First, congratulations on empowering yourself to take this next, crucial step toward your new life. Second, it is critical that you take time to find the right attorney to represent you. Divorce is painful but divorcing an abusive spouse can be downright scary. The abuser will come at you and come at you. Make sure you have the proper support in your corner.
The Silence of Narcissistic Abuse
Narcissistic abuse is often silent to the outside world, but for those living in a narcissistic relationship, it is an everyday abuse that destroys self-esteem, confidence, and personal identity. Every week in our office during conference calls with incredibly smart, beautiful, and successful clients just like you, they share their stories:
“No one understands me.” “I’m terrified every day.” “I’m being gaslighted.”
“I’m financially and emotionally drained.” “I feel isolated.” “What about my children?”
These are women (and men) who to the outside world appear to be confident, successful, and strong individuals; active in the community and surrounded by friends. But internally these individuals have been torn down, degraded, and left not knowing what to do. They are highly intelligent and capable individuals who do not know how to untangle themselves from their never-ending entanglement with their narcissistic spouse.
Finding A Divorce Attorney
The bridge over these very troubling waters lies in your selection of the right divorce attorney for you. How do you do that? How do you make sure that you are hiring or retaining a divorce attorney who will best represent you? Here are three must-take steps:
1. Interview Several Attorneys
Do not hire your attorney simply because your neighbor or best friend used them as their attorney. Every relationship is different just as every divorce is different. Their needs with their attorney are not the same as yours. Interview multiple attorneys to gain an understanding of their expertise, knowledge about your type of situation, practice style, and even personality.
2. Ask for Referrals
This is your life! This is your child’s life. When interviewing an attorney don’t be shy and ask for referrals from other former clients. Tell them you’d like the name of one or two clients that would be willing to speak to you about their experiences with the law firm. A well-regarded attorney will not hesitate to provide referrals.
3. Trust Your Gut
No one knows how to take care of you like you. Trust your gut. If it doesn’t feel right during the interview with a potential attorney, trust your gut and walk away.
Narcissists carry an air of superiority, even believing they are above the law. Facing divorce can cause a significant shift in the narcissistic personality as they fight to maintain control of their spouse and their fake reputation.
If you are in a situation where you’re trying to find your way to a divorce with a narcissist, know this – you are not alone. Our team brings significant legal acumen and personal experience in matters of narcissistic abuse and divorce. We are here to help.
Interview us to learn more about our team, culture, and process. Contact us today to schedule an appointment.
Let Me Be Your Brave!
Mia Poppe, Esq.
Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC.