5 reasons spouses keep secrets from each other

On Behalf of | Jul 19, 2023 | Divorce

When people are married for a long time, they notice when there’s something wrong with their spouse’s behavior. Maybe you noticed your spouse is acting shy or quiet or they’ve been avoiding you lately. Or, they’ve acted aggressively toward you. This can be alarming in a marriage, especially if a spouse doesn’t want to talk about what’s happening or acknowledge something is wrong. 

Quite often, changes in a spouse’s behavior indicate that they’re hiding something that they know may damage the marriage. Here are a few reasons your spouse may be keeping a secret from you:

1. They’re cheating on you

One reason people keep secrets is that they’re cheating on their significant other. Maybe it’s been a long-time relationship that started early on in a marriage or maybe it was a one-night, drunken fling. Either way, cheating is often a result of other issues in a marriage. Maybe a spouse was never ready for marriage or they don’t feel like they’re seen or heard, and this is their way of acting out.

2. They have another child

You may have watched a movie where someone had a child out of wedlock and never brought them up to their spouse. This can and has happened in real life. It can be difficult for people to talk about what they’ve done and who they’ve been with before marriage out of fear that their spouse will resent them.

3. They’re hiding bills

As mentioned above, cheating can lead to some serious consequences. For example, someone may have unprotected sex with someone other than their spouse. As a result, they may be expected to pay child support or make child custody plans, which their spouse will eventually learn about.

4. They’re still married to someone else

It’s illegal to marry if someone is already married – this is known as bigamy. However, people do sometimes marry without first getting a divorce from a previous spouse, either because they found the process too complicated or they simply wanted to keep their past hidden.

5. They were fired

A big part of any marriage is financial stability, and modern marriages often see both spouses earning an income. It can be difficult for a spouse to bring up the fact that they were fired. Sometimes the reason someone was fired is what leads to issues in a marriage rather than the firing itself. For instance, maybe a spouse was fired for fraud or theft, which can make someone look very differently at their spouse.

What are your legal rights?

Once you find out why your spouse is hiding something from you, you may be looking to find solutions – or you may decide that their deception is your “deal breaker.” At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-665-3903 or by contacting us online.
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Mia Poppe, Esq.

Mia Poppe, Esq.

Managing Partner