Could your spouse be quietly planning to end your marriage in January?
January divorces are so common that the first working day of January has long been dubbed “National Divorce Day” by family law offices everywhere. While it can take weeks or months to actually get the divorce filed, that’s the day when numerous unhappily married people make their first inquiries about the divorce process or start their paperwork.
Why do people wait until the holidays are over to file for divorce?
There are all kinds of reasons people hit “pause” on their divorce plans over the holiday season. Sometimes they just don’t want the burden of having to make explanations everywhere they go about why they’re alone, which can make them feel like a topic of gossip or pity.
Other times, they’re afraid that their minor children will forever associate the holidays with devastating news about their parents’ divorce. Sometimes they’re even trying to give the marriage one last chance, hoping for a holiday miracle.
Just because they’re waiting to make their announcement, however, does not mean that they aren’t already making plans – and taking steps toward their goal.
How can you tell your spouse is engineering their exit?
Most of the time, the big and small clues that a divorce is imminent all come down to sudden, unexplained changes in a spouse’s behavior. Here are some of the biggest signs:
- Sudden passiveness: When a previously contentious spouse suddenly seems agreeable to everything you say (or barely even comments) that could be the signal that they’ve already mentally abandoned the relationship. People only fight about the things that matter to them; if your spouse knows they’re leaving, there’s no point in arguing about where to go for the holiday dinner or how much to spend.
- Increased arguments: On the flip side, some spouses will actually take the marital hostilities up a notch once they’ve decided to leave. That usually happens when they’re trying to gain some emotional distance from the relationship. They may need to vilify their spouse so that they can mentally justify their own actions. If your spouse starts blowing up over nothing and they’re critical and contemptuous of everything you do, that’s a big sign of trouble to come.
- Financial and social changes: Once someone decides to leave their marriage, they usually start making small changes to separate their financial and social lives from their spouse’s. If they’re hiding their mail, seem suddenly glued to their phone and have changed the password on their social media or credit card accounts, that’s usually a sign that they’re hiding something.
Ending your marriage can be scary. It’s a big step to take. However, it’s always easier to see the way forward when you are proactive and not reactive. Speaking with an experienced lawyer if you see signs that your spouse intends to pursue a divorce can provide the information you need to protect your interests.
At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-665-3903 or by contacting us online.
Let Me Be Your Brave
Mia Poppe, Esq.
Managing Partner