Is your spouse trying to isolate you? 4 signs

On Behalf of | Dec 11, 2023 | Divorce

Abusive relationships take all kinds of different forms, but one thing they usually have in common is that the abuser will usually aim to isolate their victims from others. 

They do it deliberately. When you have a strong support network and friends who want the best for you, you aren’t as likely to be as emotionally or financially dependent on your abusive spouse. When you’re cut off from the people who love you, there’s no one to tell you that your spouse’s behavior is increasingly controlling or hurtful.

How can you tell if your spouse is trying to isolate you? Here are some signs:

1. They control your communications

Does your spouse seem to hover when you’re on the phone and interrupt every call? Do they grab your phone and scroll through your text messages and emails to see what you’ve been saying? Do they have “rules” about what you’re allowed to say or who you can talk to? That conveys deep insecurity on their part – but it can effectively discourage you from staying in contact with friends and family.

2. They monitor your whereabouts

Do you have to “check in” at every stop when you’re out? Do you get grilled about what took you so long if you spend too long at a store? Does your spouse actively discourage you from spending time with your friends and family members or outright prevent you from going places without them? All of that is designed to make it harder for you to confide in anyone outside your marriage.

3. They sabotage your professional life

Does your spouse undermine your career or push you to change jobs often? Do they try to embarrass you in front of your professional connections or show total disregard for your reputation at work? Keeping you from having a career and developing work friendships is just another way for a spouse to make sure you’re isolated. If it creates financial dependence upon them, that’s even better.

4. They make you feel guilty for spending time with others

Does your spouse make you feel guilty for doing anything without them? Are they particularly jealous and hostile if you spend time with your friends or family members? Do they accuse you of affairs just because you want to have dinner with your best friend? That’s all emotional manipulation designed to make you stay home and “prove” your devotion. 

Spousal abuse comes in many different forms – but it rarely happens in front of others. The right legal guidance will listen to your story, believe what you say and help you understand the steps you need to take to leave an abusive marriage. 

At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-665-3903 or by contacting us online.

Let Me Be Your Brave

Mia Poppe, Esq.

Mia Poppe, Esq.
Managing Partner