When Your Marriage Isn’t Surviving the Pandemic – 5 Steps on What to Do

by | May 29, 2020 | Divorce

Our Lives and Relationships Have Drastically Changed

These are unprecedented times; living through a pandemic. Everything has changed. In New York, things changed in March when Governor Cuomo issued a “stay at home order”. We’ve seen changes from personal grooming and cleaning our apartments and homes to work and raising our kids. We’ve also seen changes in our most personal relationship, our marriage.

How we approach and live our lives has drastically changed. Time has not stopped, but it has certainly slowed down for the vast majority of us. Social media is flooded with quips regarding happy hours or after-work drinks taking place at 10:00 AM and the like.

This time, for many, has also created an opportunity for serious self-reflection and self-assessments. For the first time in a lot of marriages, couples are truly acquainting and re-acquainting themselves with the person they married.

Spouses have now spent months together, and for many, they’ve reached the point where they’ve started to explore ending their relationship. This is a direct correlation between self-reflection and “quality time” being spent with their spouse.

Whether you’re still self-reflecting or are potentially ready to pursue a divorce, there are a few things you can do to save your marriage or survive your upcoming divorce.

  • Talk to your spouse about how you are feeling – leverage a therapist or other mental health professionals to encourage you to identify, frame, and communicate your feelings with your spouse. Therapists do wonders for relationships and may stave off divorce.
  • Ask your spouse the “5 whys” – seek an understanding of how they are feeling. The “5 why’s” entails asking a question about a behavior you’re seeing your spouse exhibit that makes you uneasy with the relationship. Ask 5 followup whys to seek understanding, from their perspective, as to what the behavior means.
  • Discuss a trial separation post-COVID-19 – consider testing the adage, “absence makes the heart grow folder”. It’s also possible that you simply need a break post quarantine and a trial separation may be the solution.
  • Consider using a mediator if you believe divorce is inevitable – you and your partner may be candidates for divorce mediation. If you’ve decided to divorce and mediation is an option, consider starting this process during the pandemic. Remember, in mediation you must compromise. Each side must be willing to give something up.
  • Speak to a qualified divorce attorney regarding a possible divorce – Schedule a consultation with a divorce attorney to get a fuller understanding of the divorce process and how they apply to your situation.

At the Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, P.C. our website chats and phone calls came to a near halt in the weeks following the reality that the pandemic did in the United States. But recently, our website chats are up, and our emails are receiving inquiries daily.

People are starting to explore their options as they are looking to survive their divorce post-pandemic.


– Mia Poppe, Esq.

If you are exploring divorce or mediation, contact the Law Firm of Poppe & Associates to schedule a consultation with an attorney today.