If you and your ex or soon-to-be ex have agreed to share custody of your child, you’re likely doing what’s best for your child – and for both of you. That doesn’t mean, however, that it’s going to be easy – especially in the beginning.
In the early weeks and months (and sometimes longer) after deciding to end a marriage, there can be a lot of residual anger and hurt. That can creep into even the most mundane co-parenting communications.
For that reason, co-parents often find it easier to communicate via text or email rather than via phone conversation or in person. Communicating via the written word, however, can be even more challenging.
Sometimes, people find it easier to lash out in writing. Further, even innocent comments can be misinterpreted to mean something accusatory or negative. The best way to avoid both issues is to stick to the topic at hand that involves your child.
What if you’re trying to do this, but it seems like your co-parent can’t communicate without being negative or even nasty and bringing up other issues that have nothing to do with whether they’ll be attending the science fair or can pick up your child ten minutes early this week? You can’t control what they write, but you can control how you deal with it. Here are a few tips.
Focus on the subject
Read past the negativity and focus on whatever the question, answer or issue is. If the communication is in the form of an email, it helps to highlight what you need to deal with. That makes it easier to ignore the rest.
Respond with as few words as possible
Once you’ve drilled down to the matter at hand, respond only to that. Maybe only a “yes” or “no” answer is necessary. Throwing in a “please” or “thank you” can’t hurt, if appropriate. Focus on who, what, when and where if you need to provide details.
Practice the kind of communication you want to see
Make sure you’re not contributing to the negativity. It can be easy to fall into that trap. Keep any communication you initiate brief and cordial.
Having a thorough and clear parenting plan can help you minimize your co-parenting conflicts. That’s just one reason why it’s crucial to have sound legal guidance. At The Law Firm of Poppe & Associates, PLLC, our focus is relentless advocacy for our clients. If you or someone you know is considering divorce, reach out to schedule a consultation at 646-665-3903 or by contacting us online.
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